A sneak peek into the future

The year is 12017 ten thousand years from now.

Archaeologists have discovered Erick Omondi’s remains. They conclude that human beings 10,000 years ago became extinct as a result of a famine of great proportions. This theory becomes widely accepted.  Later, an archaeologist by accident discovers papa Shirandula’s remains and disproves the earlier theory about famine. They conclude that big guys ate all the small guys and when there was no more supply of the small guys, everyone perished. The fittest and the non-fit. No one survived. It will be referred to as the theory of Omosh (Omondi/Shirandula) and it will be taught in all high schools world over even in Tahiti.

Among other items that will be discovered are the skyscrapers of Upper Hill. Upper Hill will become the new Giza. They won’t fathom how on earth (literally because they will definitely have another name for their planet) the folks of 2017 were able to build such gigantic and magnificent structures with only rudimentary tools at their disposal. To them the cranes and the construction equipment we marvel at today will be akin to what the guys at Olduvai Gorge used. Technology will be so advanced that they will only need a 3D printer to print a 50 storey building.

Another archaeologist or whatever they will be calling folks who spend their lives digging ancient sites for clues of early life, will discover a memory card in what used to be KTN studios. Playing the media, they will see a guy standing on a podium telling an  animated crowd something to the effect of ‘Punda amenyamba’  another guy in a different setting will be telling the crowd something to the effect of ‘mavi ya kuku’. The future guys will not understand why prehistoric-guys would fill a stadium to listen to an old man tell them about animal excreta. They will also wonder why the old men of old would be fascinated with animal egesta.

They will look at the remains of a computer and wonder what such a crude equipment was used for. Of course they won’t be using computers in 12017. They will have invented a machine called an analyzer. How will it be working you ask? A writer like yours truly will just be looking at it straight in the eye and it will develop their thoughts into a story. You will see your story develop and grow on the display. You will glow with glee as a result. They will find it so primitive (in the actual sense of the word) that folks 10k years ago used to strike keys on some board one by one to write their stories.

Ancient text experts will decode some writings (Made in China) on labels on virtually any item they excavate and wonder where this effing China was. But a remnant of a map in what used to be Kiragu Waichahi primary school will help them solve this mystery even though the continents will have drifted  further apart or came back together to form one giant land mass.

Travel.

The art of Astral Projection will have been pretty much mastered. This is what they will be using for travel. Those who won’t have the ability to practice this form of esotericism will use rocket catapults to reach any desired point in the world or what they will be calling it by then.

Remnants of a few Matatus (Nganya) will be excavated in Buruburu. Some scientists will maintain that the structure must have been used as mobile cinemas. The TV screens and music systems on the radio will support their arguments. Others will argue that the objects were used by people as a places of veneration for their leaders. This will be supported by various portraits on the walls of the structures which will still be intact. There will be portraits of Mike Sonko and Jesus Christ and Che and Obama and ‘El Comandante and Ocampo and Bensouda and Nelson Mandela and Drogba. They will probably conclude that Mike was the greatest of them all going by the amount of metal on his body.

When inspecting around the matatu one scientist will be pressing here and there, the music system will come alive playing Thitima and Demakufu and Kung’uta miwa kung’u and weka maji kwa glasi. They will wonder what the hell that is. They will then come to the conclusion that these structures were used as voodoo shrines where members would meet for rituals. The demakufu noises in essence being cries to summon the demons.

General election.

This will be conducted in a very simplistic manner. No billions of money will be spent on biometric kits. People will not waste time fronting their support for manual or electronic backup or both or none.

It will be one SIM card one person one vote. There will be a toll free short code on the Election Day. No queuing at poll stations the whole day waiting to cast a ballot. Folks will be voting using their phones from the comfort of their homes, or wherever 12017 guys will be feeling comfortable at, with prompts such as:

Point a finger on your screen to vote Nyayo.

Clench a fist to your screen to vote Emilio.

Wipe your screen to vote Kalonzo etc.

It will be that easy, results will be showing on the phone screens real time. Like it happens with the twitter poll app or the M-changa app where progress is displayed real time.

In what used to be a church building, a recorded summon on an USB stick will be dug up. On play back, words like panda begu ya elfu moja will stand out. As a result of the age of the memory stick, the word ya will not be audible. This will make the scientist laud the pastors of the 21st centuries for their efforts in goading their followers to plant seeds. They will label the pastors as great conservationists who would spend the better part of sermons preaching about re-afforestation.

Lastly, they will discover my blog in some server somewhere. They will particularly be awed by this post and my ability to foretell things 10k years from now.

Sorry I almost forgot to tell you that Richard Leakey’s remains will be discovered. They will be determined through carbon dating (Maybe they will be using another compound to date artifacts) that Leakey lived 500 years ago.

 

 

 

 

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